Give me the strength to hold in my yelling, my contempt, my temper, for i want to bash the tables and destroy people's spirit's. Hold me back. Hold me down. Stop me from undermining the lives of my friends, my family, myself. and yet i still want to. Yell at the top of my lungs until i can't talk anymore. until i lose my voice. cuz i don't deserve to talk. i don't deserve these friends. I only envy them. Take them away. Leave me to me. To be me. To unleash everything. To be able to yell, to scream, to crush.
Malicious thought's flood my mind. and i still want to yell, still want to break. Break something. anything. someone.
Why am i like this? why am i this monster, why do i write this with anger, slamming the keys.
I don't know. this is who i am. I am human.
God. GOD. GOD?
preach to me of this being this person, this "everything". just preach to me about it. i love to hear it. Because my religion just isn't right? because my religion was condemned wrong in your book? and why so? if there was so much confidence in Christianity, in God, in heaven, then why limit one's religion, why create a devil, why create a hell. U think this is right? you think you can just tell me that God will solve everything for me? You think my religion is inferior? that I'm just someone who strayed down the wrong path of religion? Well let me tell you... is it inferior of me, to be able to tell you that i am not changing? is it weak for me to tell you that i am proud of being the minority? is it weak for me, to be independent, and proud of who i am? Don't tell me my religion's wrong, don't tell me God is my solution. i am as able and strong as any of you. and i am not christian. I am not a believer, i do not sit through church every Sunday. Am i not born with the same hands and feet and body as you? Is my mind not as able as yours? and for you to tell me Buddhism is inferior to Christianity? Am i unequal to you? any of you? I've never once imposed my religion on another, nor go as far as preach to any of you about it, without someone first asking. Without someone first offending me by saying that i should pray. Never. And do you feel its right to do so to me?
I grow a little angrier everyday, reach new heights everyday. it is piling up. destruction.
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6 comments:
It is not to offend you. degrade you. or treat you inferior in anyway at all.
It is only to open your eyes to other windows of solution.
because we care.
just ignore them.
I think you have every right to be angry about people believing that your religion is inferior. it's definetely rude and disheartening for somebody to look down at different ideas. I believe all religions deserve respect and thought. And God does not solve everything just like that. If he solved everything do you think there would be war and violence and all the crap that goes on in this world? No. Christians believe that God lets things happen for a reason, even if it's bad. God did not create hell or the devil. The devil was an angel of God that became corrupt and believed that he could overthrow God. You're conception of religion is blurred. You dont follow a religion just so you can have the title or because you're parents make you. You follow because that's what you believe in.
It's wrong for people to tell you that your religion is wrong. However, the very fact that you're close-mindedness about christianity offends me. Your making assumptions about it. You don't know anything about christianity. Or God. I dont know anything about Buddha or his teachings. But i dont make assumptions. Just because a few people look down at your religion doesnt give you to right to go off and talk crap on christianity. Of course your mad. Its understandable. As a christian, i get just as much crap about what i believe in as you, maybe more. You dont believe it, that's your problem. All im asking is that you look at things at a different perspective. You want revenge because some people talk bad about you. Who cares. You take the little bad things of life and make it seem worse than it really is. You're lucky. You have a much better life than 90% of the world. You need to be more thankful more often. There are plenty of kids that go through more than you do, and they dont vent anger on other people by ranting off on them.
I respect the fact that you're buddhist. You need to respect other peoples religion too. You get mad at other people talking bad at you, yet i hear you talk crap on other people's religion, and im not talking about just christianity.
The sole difference between your religion and christianity, is that Buddhism is a faith in teachings and practices. Christianity is a relationship with a God. Im not saying either one's better. But now your implying that Buddhism is better, because of what some people said about it. Stop caring about what other people say about you so much. Who freaking gives a crap. You wont even be seeing them in a few years. People that say those kind've stuff shouldn't matter enough to you for them to upset you.
The reason people would be wanting you to pray or whatever is because the Bible teaches us to spread the word. However many people go about doing this the WRONG way. Just as they did to you. Of course it is important to respect other people's religion. We are just widening your perspective.
I'm done. Bye.
this is the strength i seek in writing. the ability to make you as a person respond in your own way. I'd like to thank you for your comment. It'd be nice to leave a name, but I am not too particular about that. Though common in this situation, i do not actually feel an apology necessary. This was nothing more than an opinionated post, as was your comment, which i do not seek apology from either. Thanks for your concern and clarity upon the subject of religion. It has shed light on a different perspective i behold, that i am not all too fond of.
The part about the creation of hell and the devil, was taken by the wrong way. I use the word creation not because i believe God created hell, but because i believe the Bible and its writers did, and you must understand, that from my point of view, your religion is conflicting. Therefore, I do not take the actual plot of Christianity into context. I view the creation of the Devil and hell as the creativity of a persuasive writer, seeking believers. Yes, i understand that we do not share the same beliefs, and it is your right to respond to this message in whichever way you feel best fits.
I believe the key point to understand here, is that i do not preach to others of my religion. I do not convince them to go to my temple.
It is not in my interest to find new converts, new believers, new Buddhists. I would just like to reach common with believers of other religions, which amounts to most everyone around me.
Honestly, i do not believe you get as much crap as me about your religion. Though naive of me, it is my honest opinion that you do not. Reasons for me saying so may be discussed another time.
As for my writing and ranting. Yes, sure it is exaggerated, and sure it is hyperbolized, but take into consideration that i do not write on the basis of a more worldly view. I do not write on the basis of persuading you to take action, i do not write on the basis of providing information about the other 90% of the people in the world. I write about myself, and the things that I experience, and the things that I know to write about. This is an optional read. There is nothing and no one to force you to read this. By choosing to read what i write, you must acknowledge that it is bound to be biased, opinionated, exaggerated, and controversial. I have no means of changing that.
Today, i am me; i think immaturely, and i have a different perspective on life. Tomorrow, i am me; i will think a little more maturely, but will still have a different perspective on life. In a few years, a decade, a lifetime, i am bound to change. My perspectives will change, my thinking will change. So if you find what i write right now malicious, immature, exaggerated, and any other adjective you may find, then you are right. When i look back in a few years, i may see it the same way. Just wanted you to know, i have plenty of years to find the right way to think and view the world.
Ok. First of all. I am also going to say that my writing is extremely biased and exaggerated just as yours is. Im not perfect just like you. Probably a lot less perfect. I wrote impulsively, and for that i do feel the need to apologize for any biased facts that were contained in my writing.
However.
I do want to clarify on something. Well, at least tell you my point of view. I definetely see your point about persuasive writing, because writing can definetely be persuasive. But the reason why we call ourselves christians is because we believe in the fact that the Bible and all the other stuff is true. We don't know for sure obviously. It's hard to factually prove that we are right. That's why it is our religion, because we believe in it, not because we know it factually.
Yes, the key difference is that we would like to share our beliefs with other people. But the fact is, that many christians go about doing this in bad ways. Christians aren't better in any form or way. But when you truly believe in something, you want other people to see. And it obviously is not your obligation to take what someone says and believe it. I understand what you mean though. I definetely would not like to hear some mormon person preaching to me and stuff like that. But, the thing is, is that we are not perfect. Just like you. Being a christian doesnt automatically make you a good person. So they make mistakes. I think you should take that in consideration if someone is preaching to you or whatever.
And yes. i agree with your point. I think we should see all religions as equal no matter how out there it is. Because if you are truly passionate about what you believe in, its very respectable.
Hmm. Ok. Well that may be true. I do agree that it must be hard to be buddhist. But its not easy for me at least. Because when i try to be a good person, it shows. And people see that as lame or whatever. Im reflecting my religion through my actions, which is being nice. Why do you think i would stand up for Milky when other people despise him. What about Alex Burns. I dont understand why people dont like him. He's actually a very nice guy. Things like that. People see that. And they ask me, why do you do that? And i say, because im christian. It's the right thing to do. And i obviously dont get good responses from that. People cuss at me. They say stuff like yeah f**ck christian people they think they're all better than everybody else. So maybe i dont get as much. But i still get a lot. And it doesnt matter how many times i get it. It hurts just as much as it would hurt you.
I understand that is biased. And i didnt take that into consideration when i last commented. I read your post. And i was angry. But i felt for you. I know you must've been angry too. The main reason im writing all of this, is because you're pretty much my best friend. I respect our differences and our similarities. I think you should come to know the fact that you're not alone. I understand that you do have a hard situation at home with parents. But, i took offense when you said that you would degrade my bad day and feel like it is nothing. The fact is, i dont have an easy life too. I go through things just like you. With parents, and with many other things that i dont confess. I tell you a lot. But there's a lot more that i dont tell you. And it's like that with everybody else. No one has an easy life. And when you said that today, i know you were joking, but i took that pretty offensively. Its like you thought that i had it all easy or something. Because i don't. No one does. Even if you have a ton of money and a lot of girls and everything, life isn't easy. That's why we have each other to get through it with.
So i wanted to make that point. I do understand that you have a hard time with parents quite often. All im saying is that you should respect the fact that other people have it just as hard as you, even if it doesnt seem like it.
Different persective of life, yes. Immature thinking, no. I believe you do have a vast amount of mature thinking. You analyze things to the very bone, and that's a sign of maturity.
And of course you have plenty of years. We're only in freaking high school for gods (or buddha's) sake!
I dont find your writing malicious, immature, or exaggerated at all. It is your point of view and your opinion. What i wrote is my opinion and i dont believe it is malicious or immature at all. Its my opinion, and im entitled to it. Just as you are to yours.
I did not mean to imply that your comment or post was in any way messed up.
Most of what i said was written upon impulse. But its what i believed in.
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